This morning I was on a Pinterest (love that site, it’s like my version of Cabelas-my hubby walks into that store and I don’t see him for hours, I pull up the site and goodbye world-Marcy is decorating!) and I saw this necklace that about broke my heart. It had one little pearl, a silver charm with a heart stamped onto it, and under that a larger silver charm with the word “eventually” stamped on it. It was advertised as an infertility/adoption necklace as a gift idea. The necklace had one re-pin, and the lovely lady who pinned it did so onto her board entitled “faith”. Oh, my heart breaks for her, I am sitting here on my couch like a blubbering idiot, because I know what that faith feels like: stretched, pulled, torn to the point of nearly broken.
When we lived in Idaho there were so many things that happened to shape our lives to create the family that we would one day be. I worked at a residential treatment center in the girls home, and each of my girls had been through things in their lives that most of us would not live through. Remember that book that came out about 10 years ago, I think it was called “A Boy Named Dave” and it chronically the life of a little boy who grew up in an incredibly abusive home? He lived through things that made the rest of the world shudder and wonder how any one could do that to a child. My girls lived through that, and some lived through worse. And they were, and still are, the most amazing, beautiful, and talented girls. And they all wanted the same thing: some one to love them. We were a close knit family there in that home, and the stories of my girls really influenced the focus on hubby and my life together. But I’ll write more on this later.
While we lived there, I also attended a women’s bible study that I really enjoyed. I was teamed at a table with a nurse as our leader, which was fitting as I was going to nursing school, and we had a great study that we followed. One night we were each given a verse on a tiny piece of paper. The one I received became the mainstay of my faith, of my hopes and of my dreams.