I myself have never really been one for the tradition. I try to live without regret, so making a change in my life just because the numbers on the calendar changed doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I’m kind of a set-my-mind-to-it-and-just-get-it-done kind of girl. But there is a beauty in the whole thought of a new year, isn’t there? It’s kind of like getting a new journal (which is pretty much the greatest thing in my own little world). There is nothing like running your fingers along the unbroken spine of a new journal, hearing the crackling of fresh pages anticipating being marred by the ink of my pen. Its like a whole wold is open to me, just waiting to be written and discovered. Much like this new year that is stretching out before us. Each day holding the promise of new breath and ideas. Our challenge is to make these days memorable right? That whole not the number of breaths taken but the number that take your breath away notion. So how do we do that?
Looking back on my year, I’m sorry to say that aside from a couple really fantastic highlights, my year was pretty blah. And here’s why: I think I spent to much time counting the losses than enjoying the blessings. Minor victories were overshadowed by yet another pregnancy announcement. My breath was stopped by painful comments made by others who don’t understand this challenge. But here’s the thing, those incidents and happenings are out of my hands, and I have to say that while my knee jerk reactions are the same as years past, I have grown this year, immensely, and in great part to this blog and the resulting book.
I have learned that, though I will likely always have the same initial reactions, I don’t have to let them contain me. I am learning that it’s ok to not pretend everything is perfect and to admit that things just really suck sometimes, and doing so actually helps you move on. I’m working on being more grateful and less in want. And while I don’t have resolutions for 2013, I do have hopes. I hope to be filled with joy for others, I hope to be cognizant of the needs of those around me and less focused on the wants of my own. I hope to bring light to infertility, and bring a taboo topic out of the shadows. I hope to bring peace, and most of all, I hope to bring hope.
We have a beautiful opportunity reaching out to us, the gift of a new year. As you take your first steps into 2013, my hope for you is that you’re filled with joy and peace, and that you find yourself breathless from the beauty in your world. Blessings to you, and Happy New Year!