Tonight, I came home, sorted some bills (always depressing, am I right?), shuffled some clutter and decided: forget it, I’ll grab a blanket and go soak up some of this incredibly rare sun. So I took my little blanket, laid it out on the green, green grass and lay down for what I thought might be a few minutes of solace. I forgot I have two dogs. One happens to be a 90+ pound golden retriever who is pretty sure he’s a lap dog and has an issue with mouth breathing. In other words, my sweet moment turned into a full body slam by a doggy-breathed Darth Vaider. But how can you not love this face?
At any rate, after being slobbered to his heart’s content and my clothing’s demise, I got up and went in to wash my hands and start dinner. Well when I turned on the faucet, nothing happened. Nothing. Not a drop of water. No I’ll be honest, my first thought was Sweet! I can’t make dinner! But then it quickly changed to concern. it was 5:06, meaning the city water dept. was closed so I couldn’t get ahold of any one there. And yes, I paid my bill. So then the battle of figuring out just what happened to my water and how was I supposed to get it back ensued. In the end, it all worked out. Someone, no idea who, turned off the main valve to my water. Don’t ask me why. I don’t think I ticked anyone off today……But alas, after 45 baffling minutes, my faucets were returned to their normal status.
It’s amazing how something like that can throw you off. I mean, I just assume that at any given moment I’ll be able to wash my hands, or dishes, or take a shower. I take for granted the fact that I have running water at the drop of a hat and the turn of a knob. That’s kind of what it’s like when you realize you’re facing infertility. You take spend so many years taking for granted the thought that you’ll be able to get pregnant whenever you choose. But when it suddenly doesn’t happen like you think it should-you’re left kind of baffled, staring at the empty sink and wondering what the heck you’re supposed to do next.
Psalms 62:5 says “For God alone, oh my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is in him.” What a beautiful verse, and such a great example of what the journey through infertility can entail. You wait so often in that silence. Wondering what it is that’s the matter. Wondering what your next step will be or what will be required of you to get what you expected would come naturally. But ultimately the only one who can calm your spirit and strengthen your soul, is the one you put your hope in. I hope that if your in that stage right now, where you’ve come to realize that what you’ve taken for granted may not be panning out quite how you think, you can take some comfort in knowing that ultimately there is a reason, and a plan. Most of all, know that you’re not alone and that there are those of us out there who are willing and wanting to be your shoulder.