I started a new bible study. Yeah, I know, another one. But the last one and I didn’t pan out so well. No pointing fingers or laying blame, it just wasn’t a good fit. So anyway, I’ve started a new bible study with the girls at (in)courage called Hello Mornings. It’s cool in that it’s all about building community with other women, and building it up through social media. So we link up to a group, are given a study and log on each morning to encourage each other and talk about what we’ve gotten from the stud so far. Here’s the kicker: it’s called Hello Mornings for a reason-it happens prior to any a.m. productivity. That means I’ve got to get my bootie out of bed EARLIER than normal. And I’m not a morning person. My hubby knows this. So I’ve been warming him up to the idea (we do share a bed after all, and he hears my alarm clock when it sounds). But last night when I asked him to reprogram the coffee maker to go off earlier (I don’t understand the stupid thing. Too many buttons, just give me my coffee already) the seriousness of the situation kicked in. My ever supportive husband didn’t believe I’d get my butt out of bed. I can’t blame him, I don’t have a good track record. Scratch that-I suck at getting up in the morning. For anything. Except Black Friday shopping, in which case-get outta my way, mamma’s got deals to snag!
But, doubting Jon and all, I did it! I smacked my alarm clock (once), stumbled to the kitchen and poured me a cup ‘o Joe mid drip. Then I sat down to the study. We’re going through the book of John, and I’ll be honest-I’ve never paid much attention to the book. But I did learn in the first 18 verses that this is where all the phrases about the “light of the world” come to play. Jesus is seen as the light of the world, and John the Baptist goes on to call him the “life” of the world, from which we are all given the opportunity to become children of God. But before we can do that, before we can enter into the family, we have to believe and accept. It is such a parallel to my family. It was just the two of us, Jon and I. Then we added Bot Bot. But we weren’t immediately a cohesive family. We all had to make adjustments and build trust. For the hubs and I, we were in. We were the parents and we loved this little girl, bottom line. But before she could love us back, she had to believe. She had to truly and honestly believe that we were never going to leave her, and that we would really be her forever family. We went through the same process when we brought Lil’ Girl and X-man into the family. Some days, just as I struggle with my personal relationship with God, I know that they struggle with the permanence of our family as well.
But just as my father doesn’t give up on me, I won’t give up on them. Because of the lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his mercies never end. Great is they faithfulness. This verse from Lamentations has often been a go-to one for me. It’s such a perfect reminder of his never-failing love, and the example of what I need to be for my own kids. And because of that unfailing love, John reminds us of the grace that Jesus brought us. Prior to his time on earth, we lived under the law. I can’t imagine what life was like, building on the law and without any grace. I’m not good at being perfect. My hubs calls me a rule breaker (I disagree. I’m not a rule breaker so much as if I don’t like a rule I figure out a way to change it. There’s a difference). I’m pretty sure I would have sucked at following all the rules and being the godly woman of the OT. Thank God for the grace we were given in the NT! I’m a big fan of grace. I like it get it in my job, my personal life, and in my relationships. And I try to give it back to those around me. I hope that as Jesus brought the light into the world, that I can be molded and used by him, allowing it to filter through me-an example of grace and forgiveness in action.
So wish me luck, tomorrow is day two and I’m going to try and get up again!