Oh this word hits so close to home this week. Our children are adopted. They come to us from different backgrounds and at different ages. They may or may not have remembrances of birth parents, but the older three all remember different families. And the all know what it feels like to not belong. What we strive for so much as parents is to remind them that we are their forever family. That even though there past wounds are deep, we’re here to try and place a soothing balm. But sometimes my love isn’t enough.
Sometimes the talks, the hugs, the pleading, doesn’t hit it’s mark. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much or how hard I love them, they still don’t feel like they belong. This is especially true of two of my kiddos. Neither were infants at adoption, and both have fallen victim to the hands that were supposed to love them. And I know that I am not enough.
The last few days have been especially difficult. Buttons have been pushed and I’m starting to think that summer kind of sucks. So I went for a run. And I ended up in a church. Running is typically my therapy. And in all honesty, we haven’t been to church in months. (I can hear your gasp of shock from here). Nope, haven’t graced a pew in I don’t know how long. For many different reasons. Partly because the church we were attending never felt like home. Partly because we live in a tiny community and branching out is difficult. Partly because I have fellowship every Sunday morning with a neighbor lady, and I don’t want to give that up. But I digress. I was running, trying to reach that platue of typical peace that kicks in after the endorphins are released. But I’m exhausted. The babe has his days and nights mixed up and I simply don’t have the energy to run very far without stopping from shear weariness. But I knew as I ran that I would pass by a Catholic church. I’m not Catholic, but I had sincere hopes the doors would be open, and they were. So I went in, sweaty and hot, and found myself a pew to pray. And I prayed that my children would find peace. That they would remember that we love them. That they would feel and know that they belong.
To join up with some stellar ladies and learn more about Five Minute Friday, head on over to Lisa-Jo Baker’s site!