I’ve spent this week in a place emotionally and physcially that I haven’t been before. I’ve never worked in this new position, or at this dynamic. I’ve never left my babe home while I venture off to bring home the bread and bacon. Or maybe the muffins and turkey bacon. But there have been a whole host of other things weighing on my mind and heart, and the center seems to be that of relationships.
I’m going to be joining a friend in an amazing community by brought to us by the (in)couragers, where I’ll be co-leading a group for adoptive mammas that we lovingly call born (in) our hearts. I’ve been praying for these women. Praying for their families and for the role that we’ll all play in the group. I don’t know their backgrounds, or what their adoption stories are, and I can’t wait to meet them through their words and the photos on the screen. I am thrilled for the relationships that will form and I pray that blessings abound. I hope that it is a nurturing place. A place of comfort where the mammas who join know that they are brave for what they’ve done and the steps that they’ve taken in heading their call to motherhood. We all get there in different ways, but that doesn’t make us any less of a mother than the woman who labored. My dear friend Lindsey Brackett talks about her journey to motherhood in her blog today, and blesses me in doing so.
But the relationships that I hope to build are not the only ones playing on my mind and imprinting my heart today. I feel like we’ve found ourselves in a culture that tares down, instead of lifts up. We are surrounded by people who use their words like knives to make us feel small, or less that what we are or are meant to be. I’ve seen it so many times this week, in so many different situations, and I’m getting a little irritated. I’ve seen grown men and women making decidedly trying to make others feel poorly. It’s often the smallest comments. The simple ding against your beliefs, or the choices you make. I’ve seen children do it to each other, taking aim and letting loose their arrows of poison. Sometimes I think we become so used to the verbal abuse that we think it doesn’t bother us anymore. But the reality is that it does. It is hurtful. And it is wrong. No one has the right to be unkind to another person, and we each have the right to stand up for ourselves.
Words are weapons, and sometimes they cut deeper than others. It’s like they say, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will break your heart. But it doesn’t have to be like that. You don’t have to be someone’s proverbial punching bag. It’s okay to stand up for yourself, whether the person being unkind is your boss, your friend, your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s okay to be brave. It’s okay to be bold. To walk away from a situation that puts you down-even if it’s one you’ve been told you can’t leave. Because no one deserves to be treated poorly.
So I implore you, if you find yourself in this situation, be brave. Be bold. Be you, the beautiful, strong woman that you are.
How are you doing this week? Do you need some one to talk to? Have you found yourself in a relationship that is painful? Please, feel free to chat, to vent, or to ask for help.