There are sisters, there are friends, and there are the women you’ve met that you form a sisterhood with. Lisha Epperson from See Speak Hear Mama is my sister. We’ve never met in person. We’ve not chatted over coffee and chocolate or cried on caught a movie. But we’ve built a friendship that has transcended the miles and states between us. Lisha is a fellow infertility warrior, and adoptive mamma, a prayer maven, and an all out knock-you-socks-off lady. I am privileged and honored to have her on the blog today. Please take a few to check her out, then go love on her blog for a bit. Be blessed!
Adoption unites 2 women with the soul of 1 child. One walks away, babe in arms, the other a child in her heart. Both undeniably changed by motherhood. Adoption has been good to me. Adoption made me a mama. I was the woman that walked away…arms laden with all the love I could hold, but I didn’t forget the women.
Every adoption story is different. And not everyone would describe their story as spiritual. But I do. I see Gods handprint all over our journey.
My children’s birthmothers are amazing women who profoundly and powerfully chose life. I admire and respect them. We were blessed to spend time together praying over the souls of the children they would entrust. We are united. Forever.
Our connections have started and stopped, lagged and resurrected. Our connections have grown and changed. We keep the lines open yet give each other space. A relationship no one could prepare me for has been one of the great surprises of my life.
Sometimes at night, after prayer or even walking across the park, I have random gratitude talks in my head with them. I tell them about the children I affectionately call “The Lovelies.” I can’t help feeling compelled to share a little of the love I’m experiencing as a mother…because of their sacrifice. The love we’re living is just that big. Without these women I wouldn’t know the love of LiChai, Ila, Chailah or Ade’.
I wouldn’t know them. And I can’t imagine that. I can’t imagine.
This is what I thought last night.
I wouldn’t know LiChai. Our little professor. Slayer of dragons, Minecraft pro and chomper of apples. I wouldn’t know his sensitive heart..the heart that cries at weddings. He’s modest. Tells corny jokes. Talks incessantly. Is a fiercely independent learner and devoted, loyal friend. Desperately wants a dog…or a rat…or a turtle. LiChai, the boy you placed in my arms is almost 13. He rides the bus alone and is the little man around the house. He’s learning and loves Latin.
I wouldn’t know Ila. Our prayer warrior princess and little woman of God. Figure skating diva. Hair stylist and nail polisher. Note taker. Story teller. Did you know she struggles in math? The openness of our adoption lets me see just how much she’s like your family. Her hands particularly. When we’re together, I notice the way your family uses their hands. It’s the same with her. You talked on the phone on her birthday for over an hour. Do you remember our shaky, cautious beginnings? I marvel at how far we’ve all come. The opening of our adoption, a courageous step on both sides. Something I never imagined.
I wouldn’t know Chailah. Whimsical, creative. Funny. She’s a flower picking fairy. Did you know she’s funny? Her comedic timing is impeccable. She’s learning to read and losing teeth. Has a few best friends. Scoots like a beast. Is growing her hair out from a drastic cut this year. Dressed as a cat for Hallelujah night. Has the most beautiful eyelashes. Is over 4 feet tall. Still sleeps most of the night in my bed. Looks great in anything.
Only one of you has met Ade’. Ninja in training, lover of green. My only picky eater. The miracle baby you all helped birth. I don’t think he’d be here if I hadn’t met all of you.
I wouldn’t know them…
If I hadn’t met you.
Women of god, of purpose.
Bringers of life, believers in life.
Midwives of the spirit
Earth mothers. Birth mothers. Mothers.
Beautiful brilliant maidens of his majesty…
I can’t imagine.
This serendipitous adventure is a delight. I’m reveling in the grace that flows from our God appointed connection and praying hard for you tonight.
Are you an adoptive parent? Have you met your children’s birthmothers? Do you have any level of openness in your adoption? If not, what would you tell her about your child?