I took some time Sunday and packed up a bunch of the things the babe has outgrown are we no longer use. We were so blessed by all the gifts that were given to us when we found out we were adopting again. It’s funny because the lack of baby supplies was one of the things that really stressed my hubby out before our little bundle’s arrival. Then it was as if all of a sudden, gifts and hand-me-downs came out of the woodwork, and we had a stocked nursery. So many wonderful things are given to us that as he grows and gets bigger I don’t feel like I can sell them, I want to give them away. I’m all for pay it forward and I think that that’s the best thing to do. So as we’ve grown out outgrown the bassinet I gave it away. His outgrown clothes: I gave them away. And yesterday I messaged a friend of mine to see if she needed one of the toys that he had outgrown.
She said her little one already had one of what I was referring to, but she did know someone in need. She told me that there’s a highschool girl in our community is going to have a baby and when she had her own baby shower, she didn’t get much from friends and family. Knowing just how stressful it can be to have a baby on the way and have so little I can’t even imagine what her stress level is. I can’t fathom what it would be like to be a highschool girl ready to give birth. But I can imagine how terrified she might be. So when my friend told me of her I jumped on the opportunity to give some of the babe thing to this girl. But I didn’t realize the effect that it would have on me. As I washed up toys and supplies, I was flooded with memories. There was the little chair I would set him on the counter, where he could see me while I cooked. And he was happy as a clam sitting in his little seat watching me. I boxed up the burp rags, knowing we’re beyond that stage. I packed away the sleeper that kept him warm and cozy in the winter. I cleaned up his old bath tub, the one with the sling that he laid in when he was so small, and then outgrew to actually sit in the basin itself. Now he’s too big for even that and is sitting up in the bathtub playing with toys.
And as I loaded all of these things into my friend’s car I realized how much I was giving away. It had nothing to do with the things, I’m not really a things sort of girl. It had everything to do with moving on. We waited 12 years for this babe. He was a miracle in so many ways and so unexpected. And boxing up these things is like saying goodbye. He was my first. He is my last. He is my only baby. And it breaks my heart.
But I know how so very incredibly blessed we are to have had him. I know how hard it is to get a baby physically for some and through adoption. I am so familiar with that pain. I know how incredibly blessed we are to have this one experience. So I try to take advantage of it as much I can. I snuggle him. I cuddle him. And I don’t mind so much that he sleeps in my bed almost every night. And to those who say he’ll stay there forever I roll my eyes and say that’s just fine. Because I will cherish every moment of this ride. I will take every dirty diaper and the crying at 2 in the morning. Because he is our only and we have been blessed.
|See this giraffe? I couldn’t part with it. Could you??|