It’s flash-mob blogging time! Come on over and join us at Kate’s place.
Tonight’s prompt is: Hold.
It’s funny, the first thing that popped into my head with this prompt is old 80’s and early 90’s songs. So let’s play this one out and see where the soundtrack leads us……
It all starts with Genesis, right?
Okay, okay. Enough of the music. No down to the nitty gritty. Hold. This is a tough one from me. I’m struggling lately with what to hold on too. I knew it was simmering, way down there in the deep, but it wasn’t until this morning at bible study that I realized just what it was I’ve been holding on to, and it’s been anger and frustration and down right pain.
I’ve had a couple messy cries lately. I wrote the other day on those who are vulnerable. It was a tough write. One of those where I would pound out a few words and stop, head in my hands, and let the tears flow. I’ve just been so overwhelmed by all the pain in this world. All the evil lurking around the corner and I feel like I’ve prayed until my knees are black and blue. And I haven’t written much because I felt like it was all dark and doom-filled. And then this morning, working through the words of Beth Moore the comment was written that even though there is horrid things in this world that are happening: God is still full of joy.
And then I broke.
Yep, right there. Quite frankly I got pissed. How can he be full of joy when his people are dying in his name? How can he be joyful when the minds of his children are twisted and bent and broken? How can he still feel joy when children are beaten and abused? How?
Yeah, I had been holding on to that little chunk of crazy for awhile. It’s funny how things simmer like that and you don’t even realize it. The rational part of me knows. It knows that all this heartache isn’t a manifestation of his glory-but rather a manifestation of our brokenness. It is not that he causes it, but rather he allows it through giving us the ultimate gift: free will.
But still, my heart’s a little touchy and my emotions a bit raw. Perhaps the joy he feels is knowing, as he does, that this is all temporary. That those persecuted are getting a pass home. Isn’t it said that a day for God is like a thousand years for us? That time is not a constant that he concerns himself with. And in that, the pain is over in an instant, but the joy of his kingdom lasts forever. And the difference, the big difference between me and the girl down the street is this: hope. I have hope placed in my savior. It is a hope grounded in his knowledge and his love. I have the joy of knowing that no matter what trials this wold lays at our doorstep, he always has my back. And maybe this is what brings him joy? Knowing that even though his child is fighting, knuckles raw and bleeding, we still have hope-hope that he has given us. We just have to hold on to it.