Obedience. Faithfulness. Love. Empathy. Compassion. Hope. Peace. Justice. Trust. Perseverance. All words to describe this journey. Each one an example of what we are to be, what we have, and where we can impact those around us. And yet I sat blankly staring at the page. The one where Beth Moore asked when I had last felt the spirit move within me. When I had offered myself, as Mary did, to be a faithful servant, a handmaiden for his will to be done.
I could not call a moment to mind. I wracked my brain and my heart, trying to discern when I had heard his voice or heard my own. Wondering if this call to faithfulness was met with tasks of my own heart and mine or those placed there to bring him glory. Doubt crept up, wrapping itself like chord around my spirit, telling me that I’m not enough. Haven’t done enough, been enough, tried enough. That I was wasting the gifts given and tarnishing this home that we have.
But here’s the thing I’m learning-it’s all about perspective. World eyes look at this life and they see the struggle. They get bitter that this isn’t what I had planned and hoped for. They get angry that this life isn’t the one I had anticipated and hoped for. What is seen is the the lies and manipulations. The tantrums. The yelling and calls from the principal’s office. Then there’s the re-hashing of work schedules, searching for sitters and changing the topography of our home to make things work. World eyes get frustrated with the chaos and discouraged in the dark nights that dawn on long mornings. They don’t see the beauty of the shore because they are trapped in the tangles of the trail.
But if your perspective changes, so does your world.
Kingdom eyes see things differently. They recognize that we are not long for this world. There is assurance that the few years we spend wandering this ground is a mere blink of the lashes to the time we will spend in our true home.
Kingdom eyes recognize that it’s not about the work or the adjustments and what that means to how the day flows. Instead they understand that the flow curves and bends like a river running toward the sea-towards freedom and eternity.
Changing my perspective reminds me that it’s not about me, that I am a vessel formed in a refiner’s fire and my job is not to live a life on my terms, but on his. Because in doing so the kingdom is stretched and grown and names are added to the most important book there is. There will be successes and failures. I will have days of joy and days of sorrow. But if my eyes stay fixed on the goal the days of sorrow will not stink so much and the days of joy will be all the more beautiful.
I will not be perfect at this. I am still learning. Still listening for the still, calm voice and waiting for the spirit to flood through this home. I am learning to distinguish the calls of my heart from the calls of his. It is a journey, and the destination will be the greatest reward, but if I can keep my perspective trained on the Kingdom, the journey will be beautiful too.
Joining with Lisha Epperson today over at Give Me Grace.