It’s time, kids. Time to head on over to Kate’s for Five Minute Friday. See you there!
When I was little, my parents told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. No matter how big or small the dream, it was attainable.
And I believed them.
As I grew I knew that some desires of my heart would be harder to grasp than others. Some may never come to fruition and dreams changed. But still…I knew that if I really wanted it, with the love and support of my family, any dream was possible.
Motherhood for me was one of those dreams. It nearly never came true and the part of my dream where a soul was carried within me-that never did see the light of day. And yet there are four hearts that call me mom.
But there are so many hearts who are aching for that-for a place to call home and arms that wrap around them to call their own. There are some dreams that really don’t come true. There are some hearts that are bruised and broken and in need of love. And there is some love that will never be received.
Foster care is near and dear to me. It has built my family. It is the reason I am a mother. And it took a long and winding road to end up here. Did you know that there are actually websites where you can view the profiles of children who are waiting to be adopted from foster care? It’s true. When I first heard of these sites I was a little alarmed. Surely you don’t actually see the children-but you do. They are there, profile after profile like the Facebook of broken hearts. But what you really see, when you look closely, are their broken dreams.
These beautiful souls who have never had a parent who encouraged them to have dreams and strive for them. Children who may have never known the joy of a restful night, one where you didn’t worry about your next meal, the lack of blankets in the cold, or the dark corners mirrored by the void in your heart.
I scrolled through one of these sites tonight. The thought of fostering again has been weighing on my heart, and though I don’t think we’re in a place in our lives where we can or should bring a foster child into our homes, it is something I’m praying over. As I traveled down the page I took note of the ages of the children. The majority of them are in their teens, a time when they are the most difficult to place. The time where they near the cut off date for state support. Minutes away from being out on their own. Alone.
I cannot fathom this. I cannot wrap my mind around the ache that this must bring. No home for the holidays. No mom to call when you’ve had a bad day. No dad to fix your brakes. No grandparent’s couch to curl up on. No one. What do your dreams look like when you are so alone? What does your heart feel like to be so broken?
I want to be a dream maker. My heart aches and pleads for this kids, and it is anguish knowing my hands are tied. I want for them to have hope in the future. I want to know their dreams. I want them to know real love. I want them to have a mom. I want them.
I want a big house in the country with room to run and grow and overflow with life. A home for those without one. A place to rest their heads and their hearts. But right now, it is only a dream.